Why Am I Sticky?
by Mycroft-mione
Summary: Ron is sticky. Harry wants to know why (but is pretty scared to hear the answer). No pairing, no crack, just a strange idea for my forum stories that came to me while I panicked about my commitments. Gud stuf.
**Word count** : 922

 **Written for** :

Cards Against Humanity Competiton - Black card: Why am I sticky? White card: My relationship status.

Hogwarts April Event Spring Themed Bingo - 68: (food) Carrots

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 **Why Am I Sticky?**

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"Why am I so _sticky_?"

Harry glanced to his right, where Ron's petulant voice could be heard from inside his four-poster bed. The curtains were drawn tightly around him, forming a little cocoon.

"Is that rhetorical?" Harry asked, pausing afterwards to repeat the phrase in his head. It still made no sense. "Do I want to know?"

There was an aggravated groan, so drawn out that Harry wondered what could possibly cause his friend to make the sound.

"You tell me! You're supposed to be the one that has all the answers!" Ron exclaimed, silencing himself mid-groan to talk.

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that from a muggle movie or something?"

He remembered one holiday when he was small, sneaking into the living room on Christmas Eve to watch the last thirty minutes of _It's a Wonderful Life_ from behind the sofa. All he could picture at the moment was the main character guy embracing his children in black and white. But Harry couldn't imagine Ron, a pureblood, seeing the movie, until thoughts from last Christmas snapped into his head.

"Oh yeah," he said, "the one you saw with Hermio..."

He trailed off, realizing his mistake. Ron swung open the curtains, fuming slightly.

"Ah. Oops."

"Yes, and that's exactly why I said it, because I wallow in self-pity and like to make myself suffer." Ron got up and started to pace, but his steps were slow and he looked drained. Harry realized for the first time how hard the breakup had been on him.

"Sorry." He swung his legs off his own bed and walked over to Ron, looking to comfort him. Fortunately, Ron pushed him away, smiling mournfully.

"Nah, I'm fine. It's just... my new relationship status. You know? That's why I'm sticky."

"Mate, I was following you until now, but I swear I have no clue what you're taking about sometimes," Harry said, laughing.

Ron folded his arms and raised his chin dramatically high. "I eat when I feel bad. What, are you judging me?"

"Noooo..." Harry said, unconvincingly. He widened his eyes as to appear innocent, but Ron knew immediately that he was faking and fake-scowled in return.

"Hmph. It's honey from Mum that got on my fingers. Surprisingly good with carrots, as I've found out. Anyway, apparently she met this muggle farmer and convinced him to send her fresh honey, even though we don't live anywhere near the farm. She sent me some when she found out about me and... you know. Although, knowing my mum, _she_ probably got some too."

"...Hermione?"

Ron made a disapproving noise in his throat. " _Yes_ , but I thought we had agreed we don't say that name around me. Or even within a few countries of me."

"Hey, she's still my friend, Ron. I'm not going to give her up, not even now. You too agreed to break up, not just her. It was mutual."

"Hrrmph."

"And I blatantly refuse to refer to Hermione like Voldemort."

Ron rolled his eyes. " _Fine_. If you must."

"Glad we've got that settled." There was silence for a moment.

"You know, if you being sticky for a few days is the worst that happens, this breakup hasn't been so bad," Harry said thoughtfully.

"Oh yeah?" Ron asked in a challenging tone. "You've seen worse?"

"Remember Ginny and... everyone?"

They laughed. "Fair point," Ron said, and for a second Harry saw a flicker of the old Ron, someone who never worried about his only female friend's favorite perfume, or wallowed in self-pity about having _lost_ a girl. But then it was gone, and Harry saw the new Ron, thinking only of his lost relationship with the girl he liked.

"I know you're still pretty mad about her, and that's okay, but maybe after you've both cooled off some, you could try again?"

Harry saw the deranged look forming in Ron's eyes and backpedalled. "I don't mean dating - that didn't work - but just being friends? Like the old days?"

Ron didn't say anything. He appeared to be mulling it over, which was a good sign.

Harry kept wheedling. "It's going to be weird if I only talk to you too separately..."

"Harry, I don't know, all right? I need some time."

"Yeah - yeah, mate, I get it." Harry was disappointed, but it was no different from what he expected. He would just have to talk to his best friends equally so they wouldn't think he was favoring one over the other.

"But-" Ron began suddenly, and Harry looked up quickly.

"Yeah?"

"I'll think about it. I miss her already."

"Okay, that's great. Really. I don't mean to force you into anything, I just want the three of us to be together. Friends. I hate how this drama gets in the way of that."

Ron nodded. "I'll do my best. But I have to warn you, she might not be as pleased." Harry knew that Hermione was angry at Ron too, but she was a logical person. Maybe she could be convinced that Ron was all right after all.

"Hey, we'll see how it goes. Thanks, by the way."

"No prob," Ron said, and ducked back into his four-poster, where his voice was muffled slightly. "And now, I have a jar of honey to eat with a spoon."

"For the sake of the house-elves, use a napkin!" Harry joked, before leaving Ron to his own devices to eat and heal. It wouldn't take long. His friend was stronger than anyone knew, and he would bounce back from this. All he had to worry about now was Hermione's grudge.

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 _FIN_

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